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הזקנה � Characteristics:

צדקת   

חכמה   

חננית   

מלאך   

ענויה   

חסד                 

    These are דמויות מהאגדה

 

The writer says that if I would be able to describe her I would say she� like an angel. He says it�s so hard to comprehend a person like this, it�s like she�s something out of a fairy tale. She was very special and she had great characteristics, she was smart and kind and charming. And he describes her as an angel and says that she�s old but acts like she is a young woman.

 

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I.   �מעשה והלכתי�

He doesn�t meet her until his second time back to Jerusalem after he gets married. He says our belief is that every person meets people through destiny and they meet those people at the right time. The story starts with the words והלכתי מעשה and these words separate the story into 7 parts, and everything before that is just the הקדמה

He goes to visit a Rabbi in Jerusalem and during that time the British were in control of Israel. All the roads are small and he doesn�t know where the house of the Rabbi is. All of a sudden he sees an old woman holding a bucket of water and he assumed that she lived here so he asked her for directions.

 

המשורר: do you how I can get to the Rabbi�s house?

הזקנה: Yes, let me show you!

המשורר: No! I don�t want you to go out of your way, just tell me how to get there and I will find my way there.

הזקנה: It�s no trouble at all, G-d gave me the strength so let me show you the way.

המשורר: then let me carry your bucket

הזקנה: why are you trying to lower my mitzvah? Just let me take you there!

 

So they go on their way and they have to hop over the rocks and zigzag through the narrow streets. Finally she says here is the house of the Rabbi you are looking for. She took him all the way to the doors and then says good bye and leaves.

 

 

He walks into the house and sees the חכם and calls him איש. Why does he call him man and not rabbi? Because, instead of greeting his guest the Rabbi ignores him and continues learning torah.

 

Then he wants to ask the Rabbi who is this woman who showed him the way? What does �showed him the way" mean? Either the way to the Rabbi�s home, or the way of life. He doesn�t ask the Rabbi who the old lady is because he doesn�t want to interrupt him while he is learning. The irony here is that the Rabbi is so concerned with learning that he doesn�t pay attention to the mitzvoth of לחברו אדם.�

 

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II.  ï¿½שוב הלכתי�

So he returns to Jerusalem to visit האלמנה רבנת that he promised her grandson בחו״ל. Then the author describes how Jerusalem looks when it rains in the beginning of the rainy season. The clouds cover the sky � people from outside of the country see a day like this as spring but Jerusalem is מפונקת and all the residents of the city stay home and hide under shelter and complain abut the rain.

 

He is walking in the streets and he smells the rain and he covers himself with his tzizit. And the water flows through the streets and the rain drops are knocking on the roofs and are forming puddles. בהאנשה הגשם את מתאר הוא. He says the puddles are clean and the rays of the sun try to peak through the clouds and the rays cause a reflection on the puddles of water like a rainbow (מנֺח שיבוץ). The rays of the sun are trying to break through the clouds in order to do its job and shine. He�s in the shuk and he walks into stores and from the shoe seller and he sees the poor people with torn clothing.

 

First פגישה with the האלמנה רבנת:

He finally reaches the building of the האלמנה רבנת and he walks up 6 or 7 flights and he didn�t see anyone but he heard a voice that said, �who�s there?� He walks in and sees a wave of pillows and an old lady sitting on top. He said hello and told her that he�s here to say hello (ד״ש) from her grandson. Her reply was, �how many houses does he have? How much money does she have? She doesn�t ask how he�s feeling or anything like that, she cares more about how much money and how many houses he has.

 

He sees that she�s suffering from the cold and he thought that if she had a kerosene oven then she wouldn�t be so cold or sick. He feels very bad for her so he takes his own money and he says to her, your grandson sent you money to buy a kerosene oven (he does a mitzvah). Her response is, �What does it look like to you? Does it looks like I can walk with these blocks of ice you call my legs? Go buy it yourself!�

 

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III.  �נפתרתי והלכתי�

He tells her �ok I�m going to buy you the oven you�ll get it in 2hours�. Her reply was rude because she just went under the covers with a sigh to show that she doesn�t believe him.

 

מצוה גוררת מצוה

He does mitzvoth and his mitzvoth keep getting higher and higher like stairs.

He buys her an oven and the oven he buys her is the best one. And he sends it to her house but then he thinks maybe she doesn�t know how to work the oven. So he goes back to the old city and teacher her how to work the oven.

 

 

He says I didn�t mention the חננית זקנה to make her seem better than the other old lady. I didn�t come to compare them, I didn�t come to tell you a story about the city of Jerusalem, but I did come to tell you about the חננית זקנה and her midot. He also brings up this story to lead up to the second meeting between him and the חננית זקנה.

��

 

He�s in Jerusalem and he walking through the narrow streets and he sees an old woman so he moves aside to let her pass by. She realizes its him and she says hello! He doesn�t recognize her in the beginning and she says to him, you�re the one who wanted to carry my bucket of water! She doesn�t remind him of her mitzvah but of what he did. He says you�re the one who showed me the way! He feels uncomfortable because he forgot who she was and she notices so se says, don�t worry you don�t have to remember all the old ladies in Jerusalem.

 

He tells her it�s a cold and rainy day in Jerusalem and I�m here delaying you. She says to him there have been colder days! And we pray every day for the rain, it�s a blessing! Then she tells him, you did a big mitzvah, you helped an old lady, you kept her alive. He is embarrassed and surprised, how does she know this? And he�s embarrassed because he didn�t want anyone to know what her did for her. She sees that he�s embarrassed and she says don�t be embarrassed, its good to do mitzvoth you need המצוה את לפרסם so that other people will see what they need to do and will learn from his actions.�

 

Second פגישה with the האלמנה רבנית:

Now he returns to the האלמנה רבנית. He walks into the house and he sees her sitting next to the oven with her cat. She tells her cat, it looks like you�re enjoying the oven more than me. He comes in and asks her, are you enjoying the oven? She says does it look like I�m enjoying it? It�s probably going to smell more than give heat. Then she tells him about the old oven she used to have and it gave so much heat like the month of tamuz. Then the old lady says that she told people in her city, why do you need a new Rabbi (after her husband died)? She says he wont be like the other rabbi (her husband). And she says the old ovens are like the old generation but the new ovens are like this generation � bad. Just like my nephew. She doesn�t like anything new.

 

Then she asks him, did my nephew write me anything? Of course he didn�t, because its easier to just send the minimum and he just sent me the minimum (the oven). This is where he fails, because she said something bad and that caused him to get angry and act badly and even though he did so many mitzvoth, its as if he did nothing because he failed at the end. He walks out of the house and he�s angry and he tells her he�s never going back to her house again.

 

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IV.  �ערב ראש חודש הלכתי�

During this time there are a lot of Jews who want to fight the British and other don�t want to fight them. But the ones who want to fight them, see the British sitting at the kotel and they get a stronger urge to fight. He turns to G-d and says we have reached the lowest point because the British are sitting by the kotel. He goes to the kotel and there are praying and wandering. And he thinks about the countries in the world and says that iin every land and every country the nations have kicked out the Jews. And now in our own land this is happening again?! We can�t be safe anywhere.

 

He is standing ant then all of a sudden the British police officer starts hitting people with his stick and he is getting angry. He doesn�t understand why the officer is beating people but then the officer reaches an old lady who is sitting on a small chair. And he kicks the chair, why? Because there was a law that you weren�t allowed to bring chairs to the kotel. After that incident everyone kept quiet, no body said anything because you can�t fight the law, you can�t fight someone who is stronger than you. Then all of a sudden the old lady that he had seen that had helped him find his way, come and looks at the police officer. She stares at him with her eyes and the officer gives the old lady her chair back. He is shocked and thinks to himself, an old lady is stronger than Great Britain?! He tells her, your eyes have powers! How did you get this evil man to return the chair? She replies, he is not an evil man, he is in fact a good man and that�s why he returned the chair, he saw the pity that I had for this old woman. He looked into my eyes and saw my sadness and he realized what he did was wrong.

 

 

Then she asks him did you pray mincha yet? Because if you did then I have something for you to do, I have a חולים ביקור מצות for you to do. She tells him the האלמנה רבנית is very, very sick and I will take you to her, I know a shortcut. As they begin to make their way to the house of the האלמנה רבנת she stops every step and gives children sugar cubes and says hello to people and asks how they are doing and gives poor people money.

 

He sees this and asks her how are you doing? She replies, thank G-d, G-d is good. This shows her strong בה׳ אמונה. She tells him about how she reads tehillim and then at one moment she�s sad and the next she�s happy again. This confuses him and he asks her, why is it that at one moment you were happy and the next you were sad? Her philosophy is� that you have choices and you make your own path in life but its always up to G-d whether you are sad or happy. She tells him that sometimes she�s sad because she knows she�s old and that people and the angels are saying its her time to die and this makes her think about the limited time she has to say tehillim. She�s not afraid of dying but of not being able to say more tehillim and do more mitzvoth. But then she realizes that its G-ds will and she shouldn�t be sad about that because its what G-d wants.

 

The מספר looks at הזקנה and wonders, why is she so optimistic and from where does she have such a strong belief in G-d? He asks her about צדיקים in past generations and he said to her, you have seen with your own eyes more than I can ever describe in words. The זקנה answers him by saying when a person�s life is so long they have the honor of seeing many things, some good (she means bad but she doesn�t want to say anything negative) and even better things (good things). The מספר is interested and he wants to know so he asks her to tell him about the good things. She then starts telling him about her childhood. She tells him that when she was a little girl she was a פטפטנית (this word is onomatopoeia) she says מפי פטפות פסק לא � (alliteration and onomatopoeia) she talked all the time and from the time she woke up in the morning to the time she went to sleep, her mouth didn�t close. There was an old man who lived in her neighborhood who said that if she didn�t stop talking then she would lose all her words and she wouldn�t have words when she gets older. She got very scared and she thought she would die. דעת לסוף לדת she finally understood the meaning of his words, what he meant was don�t waste the things that G-d gave you and this taught her to watch what words came out of her mouth. And as a reasut, she said she saved up all those words and her life will be prolonged until her words are finished. She tells him, now I�m so old and you�re asking me to speak the last few words that I have, that will cause me to die sooner.

 

Then the מספר asks well why is it taking so long to get to the house of the רבנית? The זקנה tells him that the arabs live in the city and its dangerous so they have to go around. Then they reach the first חצר.

 

1^st חצר: She tells him, �do you see this חצר?� 40 Jewish families and shuls used to be here but the arabs stole it from us

 

2^nd חצר: In this second חצר there used to be a Yeshiva but now it�s a בית קפה (coffee house)

 

3^rd חצר: This place used to be a בית תבשילים (soup kitchen for the poor people) but now it�s a מרבץ של חמורים  

 

The world stands on 3 things: 1. תורה, 2. עבודה, 3. גמילות חסדים

 

Our lives and our world is at risk because places where we had these 3 things are no longer in existance. But now the arabs occupy our cities and donkeys occupy places where people once did Chesed (soup kitchen) and coffee houses stand in places which were once places of learning of torah.

 

The problem is that the Jews are moving away from תורה, עבודה, חסדים גמילות (the 3 things that the world stands on). The זקנה is really worried, not just about the arabs because that is a known problem but also about the fact that the Jews are becoming increasingly distant from religion and the 3 things the world stands on.

 

Then they reach the house of the רבנית and the זקנה says go in and I�ll come in soon. She also tells him, the רבנית is a very unhappy woman she wishes she wasn�t living in Israel and she doesn�t know אמיתית הטובה את � true happiness and the best thing in the world in to be in Israel and the רבנית hasn�t been able to see that yet. She says that when people speak of Jerusalem, they call it the �Holy City� but she calls in Jerusalem because the holiness is already contained in the name of Jerusalem.

The זקנה takes him all the way to the door and then lets him go because she doesn�t want to make him feel like she�s forcing him to go in so she doesn�t wait for him, she just leaves. She tells him �עלה בני ועל תכשל במדרגות"

 

 

 Why doesn�t she go in?

1. Its his mitzvah of ביקור חולים
2. The רבנית is sick and its better that not a lot of people will come visit her
3. The מספר has an opportunity to redeem himself and get a second chance to do the right thing and not fail again
4. She�s going to bring the רבנית food

 

Before he goes up the stairs she tells him becareful and dontfall down the stairs (2 interpretations of what that means) because the building is old and its not worth it to invest even a penny in fixing it. The זקנה says that that is a prblem because the Jews don�t take care of their holes and then when they become broken down they leave and the arabs come in and take over.   

 

Third פגישה with the רבנית האלמנה :

He walks in and he finds the רבנית lying on her bed. Her head is covered with a towel and she is coughing. She coughed so loudly that that the medicine jars shook. He tells her, you are sick and he wants to say something to make her feel better because she is sick and old and alone. She feels bad for herself and she says I�m the sickest person in the whole world! But the רבנית tells him, I�m not alone this old woman always comes to visit me and she brings me food. Then she asks hims, did you hear from my grandson? Can you get me ink, I want to write him a letter. She says that she is too weak to move and feed herself.

 

She tells him that only תילי helps her. He asks the רבנית, whos is תילי? (We see here that she doesn�t really like to praise people and she always complains but never about תילי) She tells him, look at the woman of Jerusalem, they leanr torah and pretend to be good people but meanwhile they don�t act nicely and they talk lashon harah all day like bees. They don�t even have respect for me and no one of them comes to visit me and ask me if I�m ok. Then she tells him that her head is hurting and if the pain doesn�t kill her, the pain in her heart will.

 

She tells him that even her cat left her. She made him good food and took care of him but he left her for his neighbor�s mice. Then she tells him about תילי who is בעלת מעשים . She says that her senses are so strong even though she is old. The רבנית says that תילי is twice her age! She says that if her father was still alive he would look young compared to תילי. She tells hims that תילי used to be very rich and even though now people don�t know her, beck then everyone knew her. She was a business woman and she came to Jerusalem with barrels of gold and many men tried to get her to marry them. But she didn�t want to marry any of them. First she was a wealthy widow, then she became a well-of woman and finally she became just a plain old woman.

 

The מספר says that תילי looks like a woman who never went through any hardships. The רבנית gets angry and tells him that she has never seen someone who had gone through so many hardships as תילי. And he says that תילי has never gone through hard times but the רבנית says that she has never gone through good times. He didn�t want to say anything else or ask anymore questions so he stood up and it looked like he was prepared to leave. The רבנית sees that he is preparin to leave and she says �לא הספיק מנקה הארובות להכנס לתוך הארובה וכבר פניו מפוײחות � � the cleaner didn�t even step into the chimney and his face is already dirty (you have just sat down and you�re leaving already!). He sat back down and asked her to tell him a story about תילי. The רבנית replies, if I tell you a story will it benefit me or her? � this shows us that she hates to say nice things about people and she hate to talk about people (רכילות). She tells him she doesn�t like to מעשיות סיפורי because its רכילות.

 

The Story: she asks him, you know that they call me rabbanit because my husband was a rabbi, but people don�t know that my father was a rabbi as well. He was such a great rabbi that you couldn�t even compare the other rabbis to his greatness. But he was such a great rabbi and everyone tried to find him a perfect wife. And there was a certain very wealthy widow and this widow had a daughter. This widow tried to find her daughter a husband and whoever could match her daughter with the rabbi would get a barrel full of gold. But her daughter wasn�t fit to marry such a holy man because on their wedding day she ran away to a church and became a nun and deserted her religion. Her rich widow mother didn�t know what to do and she spent half her fortune trying to get her daughter back. She even went to the Emperor and pleaded her case but nothing could be done to bring her daughter back.

 

At that moment תילי entered the room with a bowl of soup. When she saw the מספר she is surprised that he is still at the רבנית�s house but she tells him to stay. She says to him that חולים ביקור is a big mitzvah. Then she tells the rabbanit �פניך מיטיבים והולכים � �you look much better. And G-d is healing you. She gives her the soup and begins to feed her. Then תילי says to him, too bad you don�t live in the city because then you would see how much better the rabbanit gets every day.

 

?דר אני בירושלים לא וכי� don�t I live in Jerusalem? Nachalat Shivah is definitely in Jerusalem. תילי replies, of course it is! But I wish the city of Jerusalem would extend from here to Damascus! But the real Jerusalem and the eye that has seen everything that has happened within its city walls is the Old City of Jerusalem. It is true that all of Israel is holy but it is so much more holier within the walls of the Old City. And she tells him you know this better than me, this isnt new to you and I just want to praise Jerusalem. He sees that the rabbanit is getting angry with him because תילי is speaking to him and not paying attention to her. So he leaves.

 

VI.    �נפטרתי והלכתי לי �

There were a lot of things that bothered the מספר so he didn�t go to the Old City. The annoying tourists came. He doesn�t really like the tourists because in the beginning they laughed at us because our land is small and they come to Israel whenever they want and then think that the sole purpose of the people living in Israel is to serve the tourists. But there is one good thing about the tourists, when you show them all the important places in Israel and all the holy places in Jerusalem you see those places for yourself and you get the experience of visiting those places. And every time the מספר took tourists to the כותל he saw תילי there. She looked different to him, she was walking with a cane and because of the tourists he never approached her. שלהם בתכנית נכתבה שלא אחת זקנה לשם ולא באו הארץ לראות � they came to tour the land not spend their time with an old woman (למרגלים רמז).

 

After the tourists left, the מספר began travelling to the Old City frequently. He couldn�t describe what he saw because every day it looked newer and more beautiful than the day before. He cant explain why the city of Jerusalem looks newer every day, but he knows one day they will know the answer when the משיח comes.

 

Once again the מספר encounters the חכם and this time he greets him warmly and invites him into his home. They sat together learning and he thinks to himself, how good is it that he is sitting in Jerusalem with one of the great scholars of the city learning הלכות. The מספר describes his home, how it isn�t glamorous but מרחיבה והולכת כגוונים אלו שנראים מן החלון  חכמת ולמעלה על הרי וירושלים �his knowledge ranges far and is like the great hills of Jerusalem which are seen from the windows. But the hills are bare, there are no temples or palaces as there once were and since the time of the exile, other nations have come and destroyed the land. But the bare hills spread their glory and even the most holy of hills (הר הזתים ) has no trees or forests, but instead it�s the home of the tombs of holy Jewish leaders.

 

When the מספר stood up and got ready to leave when the חכם�s wife came into the room and said to the חכם �לתילי שהבטחתה מה שכחתה�� you forgot the promise you made to תילי! He was surprised and a little disappointed that he forgot and he said, all the years I know תהילה she never asked for a favor and when she does I forget. She wishes to see you he says to the מספר.

 

The מספר is confused and he asks are you speaking of תילי, the old woman who showed me the way? (the way of life or the way to his house). I thought her name was תילי. The חכם says that Tehilah is her real name that was given to her 4 or 5 generations ago when people would name their children with names like Tehilah (we learn that she is 104). The Chacham�s wife�s name is תחיה and she was named for the generation by her father who was required by the געון to call his daughter by this name. The מספר is surprised by this, he doesn�t believe that Tehilah is so old because she doesn�t look that old. The Chacham says that the only reason they know she�s that old is because she once let it slip. It happened at their son�s wedding she came to bless the son and the bride and she said I hope you live to be as old as me. The son asked how old are you? And she responded, it has been 90 years since I was 11 years old! That was 3 years ago, so today she is 104 (90 + 11 + 3 = 104).

 

The מספר is intrigued by learning about Tehilah so he asks the Chacham to tell him more about her. The Chacham replies, what else is there to say? כמשמעה פשוטה ,צדקת ,היא צדקת �she�s is a tzadeket, a true tzadeket. And take whatever opportunity you have to see her because she�s a very special woman. But I doubt she will be at home because is she�s not doing חולים ביקור then she is helping poor people and if she�s not doing that she�s probably doing some other mitzvah. But you might be lucky enough to find her because in between doing mitzvoth she goes home to knit clothing for poor orphans. When she was rich she would spend her money to help the poor and would give צדקה and now she barely has enough money to care for herself so she does mitzvoth in person.

 

The חכם accompanied the מספר to Tehilah�s door and as they were walking the Chacham was speaking of Halachot but he noticed that the מספר was preoccupied. And he knew that it was because he was thinking about Tehilah. Then the מספר asked the Chacham to know more about her. The Chacham tells him, I told you of the way she is now but I don�t know anything about her before she came to Jerusalem. I don�t know more than anyone else knows. Before she came here she was a very wealthy woman and she came to Jerusalem after her sons and her husband died. My mother used to say about Tehilah �בנים ומשיכול מאלמנות קשה פורענות� � there is nothing worse in the world than a widow who lost her sons. But that�s all anybody knows, and any generation who knows more than that is long gone (dead). When they reach her house they part ways and the Chacham sys that its unlikely that he will find Tehilah home because she is probably giving out candy to little children.

 

The מספר enters Tehilah�s house and he sees her sitting at the table and it looked like she was expecting him. Her house was small and the walls were made out of stone. She had a small bed at the corner of the room but if he had not seen the bed the מספר thinks to himself that her house would have looked like חדר תפילה .

מספר: ברוכה הנמצאת

תהילה: ברוך  הבא

   מספר: הרי את דרה כבת מלכים   �you live here like a princess

תהילה: כל בנות ישראל בנות מלכים הן �every daughter of Israel is a princess and I praise G-d that I am also a daughter of Israel (she is modest because she doesn�t say I�m a princess, she says I am a daughter of Israel). I asked to see you because I needed to speak to you. would you do me a favor?

מספר: עד חצי המלכות

תהילה: it is good you speak of your kingdom because every son of Israel is the son of kings and his deeds are royal deed. When a son of Israel does chesed to his neighbor this is a royal deed. Sit down, I hope I am not taking up too much of your time. You are a busy man and you need the whole day to work and gain income. The times when we had leisure time and we were glad to spend an hour just talking are now gone. Now everyone is always busy and is always in a rush to do something. מרגילים עצמם לרוץ שאם יזכו ירוצו לקראת השיח �people think that if they run fast it will speed up the coming of the משיח. You see I have become a פטפטנית again, I have forgotten the advice of the old man (not to waste words).

מספר: was still wondering why Tehilah asked for him to come.

 

But she stopped talking and instead just stared at him. Then finally she began to tell him about the death of the רבנית who had passed away during th night, while her stove was burining and her cat was using the heat to get warm. Then thy came to take away her body and someone took the stove.

 

תהילה: you see your mitzvah led to another, first you bought the stove for the old רבנית and now someone else who needs heat will benefit from the stove. I am sorry I troubled you.

מספר: you didn�t trouble me, I am pleased that you asked me to come see you.

תהילה: if you are pleased than so am I. but I don�t know why you are pleased, I have a reason to be pleased because I found a man who has done for me so much kindness. She was silent then she said, I heard that you are a good writer, so can I trouble you to write a short letter for me? (מספר takes out his pen) you carry your pen like those who carry a spoon wherever they go so when they find a meal they have a spoon ready.

מספר: well I carry a meal inside the spoon (he was making a joke and then he explained to her how a fountain pen worked)

 

She doesn�t understand how the pen works and he tells her the ink is in the pen and she says that they speak slander when they say that your generation�s inventions are only for evil (she likes the pen and this teaches us that she embraces the new generation not like the רבנית). See they invented a stove and a pen and they will invent more things for mankind. לראות מוסיף שנים מוסיף� the longer one lives the more one sees. But take this quill and write the letter with a quill and ink, I�d rather you write it my way. She gave him קיסרי נײר which is old and very good paper that she kept for 70years and it is still as good as new. She also asks him to write in אותיות של הסידור �no in regular script but in capital letters of the sidur. He tells her that as a young boy he copied the Megilla and everyone who saw it praised him for being able to write in such a way. She replies, ever though I didn�t see it I believe that your writing is wonderful. She offers him something to drink and eat and efter he eats she tells him to take the quill because she is beginning to dictate the letter and she will speak in Yiddish but he should write the letter in hebrew.

 

Then she tells him that the girls these days are learnin to both write and speak in hebrew and when she was young this did not happen. But she says, at least I understand hebrew from my Sidur and I can read from the torah and tehillim. And then she remembers that she has not said tehillim for the day and she becomes sad. The מספר sees that she is sad and he tells her don�t be sad because this delay is from שמײם because one more day will be added to the sum of your days.

 

Tehilah says, if I knew that tomorrow משיח then I would be glad to live another day. But the days come and go and משיח has not yet come, where do I find joy? Where is my life going? G-d forbid I�ll complain about my life, if he wants to keep me alive then I am happy because it�s G-d�s will. But I ask myself everyday how much longer my body can survive. So many younger woman have died and had the privelage to be buried atop הזתים הר, and I still walk on this Earth while my feet wear away. (we see here that she believes that she is ready to die but she doesn�t complain or wish to die and she accepts whatever G-d has planned for her).

 

The מספר dips the quill in the ink and he gets ready to write but Tehilah was lost in thought. He looks at her and wonders how much she has gone through, she says that she has gone through good experiences but from what he heard, it sounds like she has been through so many bad things. She has joy upon her face but her heart mourns. She sees him staring at her and she asks him, did you start yet. He replies, you have not told me what to write.

 

The Letter: She tells him to write With the help of G-d, blessed be He. The he writes the date and parasha and G-d willing the Holy City of Jerusalem should be rebuilt quickly in our days. She explains that usually you would just say Jerusalem but it is only fit that you add a prayer for Jerusalem to be rebuilt. Then she tells him to write לכבוד in bold letters. The she tells him to write �הרבני המפורסם �. He writes this and she gets excited whe he writes it and blesses him and his father.

 

Then she tells him אני עײפה lets continue this letter another day. He tells her that tomorrow is convenient is for him and she asks what day is it tomorrow? And he tells her that it is חודש ראש ערב. She replies that on ערב ראש חודש  she goes to visit קבר רחל. He says to her, if you are not available tomorrow then I will come a different time. She asks him, why wouldn�t I be available tomorrow? He replies because you are going to visit קבר רחל. She says I am unable to go to קבר רחל  because my legs cannot carry me there. She also says that she cannot take carriages or buses because when she came to Jerusalem there were no carriages or buses and she is used to going by foot. So he leaves and agrees to come the next day.

                       

VII.   �נפטרתי והלכתי לי ובבוקר חזרתי �

 

נפשה עליה נגמה� he came the next morning and he say a change in Tehilah�s face that was usually radiant and now it was double radiant (כפלים האירו). Her room looked bright too, her floor was polished and so were all the things in her room. On the table there was a barrel that was covered with parchment and sealed with wax. The מספר wondered how she found the time to do all this cleaning �הלילה כל עשתה היא מלאכתה את עשו לא מלאכים אם if angels didn�t do her work then she must have been cleaning all night long. She rises to greet him and she tells him that she thought he was going to forget because she has to go renew her lease. But nevertheless they sit and continue the letter.

 

Continuation of the Letter: They already wrote in honor of the great rabbi. She asks him, did we write his name yet? She whispered his name, Shraga (שרגא). She said his name 2 more times and then sat in silence.

 

Then she told him, I will tell you the story that you will understand what you need to write. She tells him the story is very old and happened 93 years ago. Her face changed and grief replaced her radiance.

 

The Story: Tehilah was 11 years old at the time. She knew this because her father used to write in his Chumash the names of his children and dates of their births and when she came to Jerusalem her brother gave the book to her. One night her father came home from shul and he brought with him a relative and with them came Petachya Mordechai (Shraga�s father). When they came home, her mother told her to put on her shabbat dress and she too put on her fancy Shabbat clothes and covered her hair. That is when she met Shraga�s father, the man she was to be wed to. This is when her mother told her that next year when Shraga turns 13. Tehilah already knew Shraga because they used to play hide-and-seek together but then when he got older he had to learn Gemara and they couldn�t play together anymore. But after they became engaged he came over every Shabbat and would tell her father everything he had learned that week. Then they began to prepare for the wedding. Shraga�s father wrote out the tefillin and her father bought him a tallit and she sewed the bag for the tefillin and another bag for the tallit. One Shabbat, 4 weeks before the wedding day, Shraga didn�t come to Tehilah�s house. When Tehilah�s father went to see where he went he was told that Shraga had gone to visit with the leaders of the Hassidim. He went with his father to receive a blessing. When Tehilah�s father heard this he became angry because he was part of the מתנגדים and he didn�t like the Hassidim. After Shbbat her father tore up the marriage contract and sent the pieces of the contract to the house of Shraga�s father. Instead of cancelling the wdding her father searched for a new groom for Tehiliah. Tehilah didn�t know what happened to Shraga but her father forbade her from ever seeing him again. But she heard that him and the Hassidim in the town had moved away because they feared for their lives.

 

Three years after she was wed with a different man, she gave birth to a son, 2 years later she had another son and 2 years after that she had a daughter. For awhile her life went well, it was uneventful, her children grew up and they were happy. She forgot about Shraga and how she never received a מחילה שטר which would have cancelled their engagement. Her parents passed away but before her father died her put his sons and sons-in-law in charge of all his affairs and he asked that they all work together as one. Business for her family was good and they were able to get tutors for their sons and give their children everything. Her husband now became engulfed in his work and didn�t have time to learn torah anymore. One of their son�s tutors was a religious Jew who would come to Sahbbat dinner and eat with them. They didn�t know that the tutor was a Hassid but when the father inquired about how he had become so knowledgeable, the tutor took him to a city to a Hassidic Rebbe. When the husband came back he had adopted the customs of the Hassidim and Tehilah thought to herself, אבא מעיניך עפר יגלה מי �Who can now wipe the dust from your eyes, father, that you may see what you have done, how you sent Shraga away for being a Hassid and now my husband has accepted the customs of the Hassidim upon himself.

 

A year before her oldest son became Bar Mitzvahd, there was a plague and many died. The plague came to her town and her son became ill but G-d spared him for awhile and he lived. When he felt better he went back to studying and practicing the tefillin. But one morning he woke up and went to go learn torah early in the morning. But as he was about to enter the Beit Midrash when he saw כמת תרכיכים לבוש אדם and her son was overcome with terror and shock. He almost died but for awhile he remained alive but then he died. Through seven days of mourning, Tehilah sat and meditated and contemplated about how and when her son had died.He had died after Havdalah, 30 days before he became 13 and at the end of havdalah, 30 days before she was to be wed to Shraga, her father ripped up the contract.

 

Two year later, her other son came of age. And one day when he was playing with his friends in the woods, he disappeared. Originally it was thought that he was kidnapped by gypsies but after a few days his body was discovered in a marsh. After 7 days when they stood up from their mourning, Tehilah told her husband that it is time to ask Shragah for forgiveness because all they have left is their daughter and they wish that the fate that had befallen her brothers will not fall on her as well. Throughout the years no one had heard from Shraga but her husband was determined to find him. He was willing to make the journey to find him and said that he was a Hassid of a certain Rebbe. Tehilah�s husband was opposed to this Rebbe, even though he himself was a Hassid. When the husband reached his destination it was discovered that the Rebbe had died and his dynasty was divided into different towns. The husband journeyed from town to town asking about Shraga. Finnally someone told him that Shraga had joined the מתנגדים. While travelling from place to place looking for Shraga, the husband grew ill and died. Tehilah went to set up his tombstone and then went back home to take care of his business affairs. She became a strong business woman and people said that she had the strength of a man. She began working harder and harder because she now felt the obligation to make her daughter�s life as good as possible. And she barely ever spent time at home except on Shabbat and holidays. But her daughter was happy and in the company of governesses who taught her how to speak the language. Those governesses (מורות נוכריות ) would integrate her daughter into their homes and lives. After awhile she found a husband for her daughter who was a qualified and smart Rabbi (the rabbanit�s father), but Tehilah didn�t get to enjoy her daughter�s wedding because that day she ran away and an evil spirit took possession of her (she ran away to the nuns and converted to Christianity).

 

And now that is the point of this letter, to write to Shraga and tell him that Tehilah has forgiven him for all the bad things and sorrows and heartbreak that happened to her family at his hands. And he should forgive her too because she has suffered enough.

 

He didn�t know what to say and then finally he asked Tehilah a question, 93 years ago your father tore up the contract, do you really believe Shraga is still alive?

 

Tehilah answered, Shraga is not alive, he has been dead for 30 years and he died on the 7^th of Adar. She had happened to find this out because they were praying for him at a synagogue and when she asked about him she was referred to a relative of Shraga.

 

He asked, then if Shraga is dead what is the point of sending this letter?

 

Tehilah replied, you might be thinking that I have gone crazy of something and after so many years I�m relying on the post office to deliver a letter to a dead man. But I shall take this letter and put it in the jar and seal it and then it with me. I will take it to my grave. And then when I die I will be reacquainted with Shraga and I will find him.

 

He began to write the letter and when he finished he read it to her and she took the pen and signed the letter and then she put it in the jar and sealed it. Then she got up and said I am going to confirm my lease (חוזה). She thanked him and they both left the house. They walked together and then she stopped and said, how can they abandon these holy places and faithful Jews. When she reached her destination (the funeral home - גחש״א) She walked in and the clerks stood in respect. One asked what brings you here? And she replied that she has come to confirm her lease. The clerk said, you mean you have come to annul it. Tehilah got worried and then he said that he was only joking because she has lived almost forever and is on her way to becoming immortal. She has come for many years and every year she comes to confirm her bill of sale of a plot on הזתים הר and she came 3 years ago and 10 years ago and 20 yeas ago and she�s still alive and will probably come every year until the משיח comes.

 

Tehilah says I wish משיח would come, but as for me, I will not trouble you anymore.

גחש״א Member: Are you going to the Kibbutz?

Tehilah: No I�m not going to the Kibbutz, I�m going to my own place

גחש״א Member: Are you going back to your home country:

Tehilah: I am not returning to my home country, I am going back to where I have come from.

גחש״א Member: Come back in another 20 years and we�ll talk then

Tehilah: I have already called the body washers and it wouldn�t be nice to have called them for nothing

 גחש״א Member: (now he feels bad for making everything a joke) It is good for us to see you here because you are an example of one who has lived a long life and I hope you don�t leave us G-d forbid because it will change our lives.

Tehilah: Had I anymore years to live I would have given them to you.

 

Tehilah signed the papers, kissed the mezuzah and headed out the door. He still walked with her when she left, she turned to him and said go back home and return to your own life. He was still perplexed and said, I thought you were speaking of the lease on your house. She replied, I have already taken care of the lease on my house a long time ago but now I must go home, goodbye. She leaves him and heads home while he stands there in silence and watches her disappear in the alleyways of Jerusalem.                                                                               

 

VIII.    �בבוקר הלכתי �

 

The next morning he went to see how Tehilah was. On his way he stopped at the house of the Chacham. For awhile they spoke and when the מספר was ready to leave, the Chacham offered to accompany him. He said to the Chacham that he is on his way to see Tehilah that is when the Chacham said to him, Tehilah has left us. He was shocked and he left the house alone and found himself at the front door of Tehilah�s home. He walked in and it looked like a shul after a tfilah had been said. And on the stone floor was water in which Tehilah had been cleansed.